Recent Reflections

When I first started seriously writing in my blog I thought this could be a good way to let people know what I am up to. After about a month it appears that this is a good way to let Lindsay and Nate know what I am up to. Ah well.
So Steve and Jessica's wedding was very nice. I think outdoor weddings are the best, and the weather was perfect. Nate did a good summation of the event, so check his blog for details.
It is interesting the swing I've been on. A few weeks ago when I left Mentor I was incredibly blessed and felt like I was important to people and they actually liked having me around. Since then I have gone totally the opposite way and have felt disconnected and sad. Part of it is working in a new place where I don't know anyone and I can't really talk to people much. But the other part is the continual struggle I have in myself. The thing I dislike most about myself is that I often feel I can't talk to people. It's not that I don't want to talk, I just feel like I have a mental block and I don't know what to say. I have in me this desire to be well liked by people and want people to enjoy talking to me. But when it comes to actually talking I just don't know what to say. This usually comes off with other people thinking I am shy or snobby. The latter is the worst part because it makes it even more difficult to talk to people.
I know I keep a shell around myself and don't let people in. I have been trying to get past that and have had some success, but it is still a difficulty. And I don't know why it is there. I look around at other people and envy the closeness they have with friends. It is difficult for me to have that closeness even with family.
Well I'm not sure why I am saying all this on the internet. I guess I just need to get it out. Hey look it's Corey and Wendy! Bunz is showing his true feelings for weddings.


*Have you ever used blogger's spellcheck? Apparently Nate should be NATO and Jessica should be cheesecake. Done and done.

Wedding Question

It appears the August wedding season is upon us and I just have one question:
Where's the kilts? I was told there would be kilts. I am gravely disappointed.

*Not disappointed that I don't get to see men in kilts because that doesn't do anything for me but just that it seems like a unique wedding idea.

Failure of the Library

I am a great fan of Libraries. I love books and love places where I am surrounded by them. In bookstores I feel like I could never afford all those books so I can't enjoy it. But in libraries it's just books and I can take any one I want. However, I have had an experience to shake my faith. I was looking for the 4th book in the current series of books I am reading, "The Death Gate Cycle." However, in the entire Calgary Public Library system not a single copy of this book was available. I spent almost the entire weekend looking through used bookstores with no luck. Finally on Monday evening when I had almost totally despaired of any hope I found a copy at "Fair's Fair" used bookstore. It was the happiest day of my life.* Hopefully the library will not fail me again.

*May not have been the happiest day of my life.

Reflections

Marigold Spinoza is pretty cool. So yesterday was my last day at Mentor Engineering. I worked there for three years and I must say that I enjoyed it. I am actually pretty sad to go. I really like the people I work with. I have become friends with many of them and will miss being able to see them daily. One of my failings is that when it takes some effort to keep in touch with people I usually don't put in the effort and so I lose touch. I must try more.
I wonder many times whether I am doing the right thing in leaving Mentor and going to Headplay. I am excited about it and think it is a great opportunity, but what if I don't find the things there that I enjoy at Mentor? Like being able to wear flip-flops to work and really liking the people I work with. *sigh* Well if I didn't go I'd never find out. At least I am leaving on really good terms. I could probably even go back if things didn't work out at all.
Quitting my job was one of the most interesting episodes of my life (not interesting as in exciting but in analyzing emotions and seeing peoples reactions). It seems a bit immodest but I know I was pretty important at Mentor. I had 3.5 weeks to complete or transition all of the projects I was working on. In the end I couldn't get it all finished. I feel bad for my manager who has to take over much of what I was working on. I know he will get through it but it won't be a fun time.
The most interesting part was all the feedback I got from people. I was extremely blessed by all the comments and notes on goodbye cards. It was somewhat of a shock to realize that people think highly of me. I often don't know what to do with that as I usually just see my weaknesses. I also got the impression that people would genuinely miss me. Part of my self-image is that I often think people wouldn't notice if I wasn't there. It seemed pretty clear that I would be missed.
So I have the long weekend and then I start on Tuesday. I'm feeling pretty nervous about starting. I feel confident that I will do well, but I think it will be a tough few months learning new things and trying to contribute to a hard-working company.
Well this is a fairly long post. If you made it all the way through I congratulate you! Here is your reward. It follows the Ramer theme of pictures with cute kids.

Yikes

So I've been crazy busy lately trying to finish up at my current job, before starting my new one next week. The stress is building. My problem is that I just can't not care about the all my projects and making sure that the correct information is passed on properly.
Once things settle down a little I will do some updates including pictures and possibly some new sidebar items.